Sure enough, this couplet was deja vu.
“Palace graduate is completely short-sighted.”1
Seeing this couplet, all of the girls were stumped. To make up a couplet using homophones, no wonder this red-haired man was so self-confident. In actuality, this homophonic couplet was not necessarily very absolute, but thinking for a little while, it was not so easy.
Xiao’er was very disdainful towards this sort of couplet.
“This couplet is much simpler than the other one just now.” The man laughed, somewhat crafty, as if he was hiding something.
“Indeed, it is much simpler.” Su Xing smiled, “Little Yi does not need to do anything, I’ll complete it.”
Xiao’er had a very expectant expression as she watched Su Xing. Su Xing glanced around and spotted in the crowd a monk of Crane Mountain2 wearing a brown shirt. The corner of lips curled, and he answered: “Brown shirt monk of Crane Mountain.”3
Two monks froze.4
The surrounding people clapped.
Yan Yizhen nodded, the corner of her lips slightly suppressing a smile, her expression even gratified.
“This Brother’s mind is actually fine, however, this couplet is certainly not that simple.” The man laughed aloud. He read the couplet again, this time, adding a “This world”5 to the beginning. Thus, it again turned into a four phrase homophone absolute, “This world’s palace graduate is completely short-sighted.”
This was somewhat absolute.
The crowd that was happy just now seemed to have been doused with ice water, everyone immediately falling silent.
“Are Westerners so fond of making things difficult for people?” Xiao’er interjected, not happy at all.
“Brown shirt monk of crane mountain is kindly.”6
Su Xing sneered, instantly blurting.
“This Brother answers so finely.”
Everyone cheered, crying out praises one after another. The man from the west did not expect Su Xing could answer so smoothly. Not omitting anything, he ground his teeth and said: “This world’s palace graduate is completely short-sighted eating food.”7
“On rivers brown shirt monk of Crane Mountain is kindly.”8
He might as well finish it all off.
The western man’s face turned red as pig’s liver. This time, he remained silent, unable to think of anything.
“No more? What a pity, I’ll help you add a phrase – On rivers brown shirt monk of Crane Mountain is kindly closing fans.”9 Su Xing leisurely said.
Hearing that hard to pronounce homophonic sentence, the western man was thoroughly blank in the head. His mouth hung agape, incredulous at Su Xing. The other masses only felt that what Su Xing said was seemingly obscure, but resolute people could still hear this was answered without difficulty. Su Xing’s beautiful wives looked at each other and smiled.
“The Central Celestial is wide and deep, Your Servant praises.”
After a good while, the western man then returned to his senses from his dizziness, his mind dazzled from Su Xing’s long couplet. He did not make any more objection, presenting to them nine wonderfully scented spice bags with both hands.
Su Xing saw he was so meek and said: “Actually, if you really want an absolute for all eternity, Your Servant has one couplet, one that surely cannot be answered by anyone in the world.”
“Brother truly has this sort of couplet.” The western man said in shock.
Hearing Su Xing’s full self-confidence that it was an absolute for all eternity that could not be answered by anyone under Heaven, everyone was very much in disbelief. Other than Su Xing’s beauties, the others only felt this man was somewhat arrogant from facing off in couplet. Unanswerable by anyone under Heaven was certainly underestimating the people of this world.
“Do you truly want this Absolute For All Eternity?” Su Xing chuckled, his gaze staring at the western man’s booth with sinister designs.
The opponent immediately understood. The western man did not dare be careless. Waving his hand, he took out an elaborate porcelain bottle. The bottle glittered with a crimson light. That light was odd, similar to a luan bird in shape.A strange scent wafted. Sniffing this made the limbs weak, the mind carefree and relaxed. Even if it was sealed in a bottle, they could feel that the thing inside was out of the ordinary.
“Phoenix Saliva Perfume”10
Suddenly, two monks shouted from within the crowd.
“Phoenix Saliva Perfume?”
Hearing this name, An Suwen was shaken, covering her mouth in shock.
“Is it a unique spirit medicine?” Some people were confused.
“This is but the Path of Yellow Scarlet’s great healing spirit liquid.”
Su Xing’s eyes glittered. Phoenix Saliva Perfume came from a unique spirit wood, the “Phoenix Seeks Phoenix.”11 The Phoenix Seeks Phoenix took one hundred years to bloom, two hundred years to bear fruit, and three hundred years to condense a fragrant perfume. This was “Phoenix Saliva Perfume.” Reportedly, this sort of Phoenix Saliva Perfume could be used to lure “phoenixes.” Furthermore, this Phoenix Saliva Perfume had another ability which was that it could enormously benefit dual cultivation. Buddhism’s Happiness Chan actually could not obtain it.
Of course, what was more important was that An Suwen required three great main medicines to refine Yin Yang Lovemaking Powder, and Phoenix Saliva Perfume was one of them.
Su Xing did not expect at all that this man would take out such a valuable thing.
“Princess Yu is very fond of Central Celestial life, particularly treasuring these couplets. Although this Phoenix Saliva Perfume is valuable, it is useless to us. The Princess’s original intention was that had the couplet not been answered, Your Servant would present it to the Happiness Together Courtyard. Buddha Extreme Happiness had requested it. Since this Brother has already answered, and with an Absolute For Eternity, Your Servant has confidence that the Princess will not say anything if Your Servant confers it to Brother.” The western man explained, showing an expression of tacit understanding: “Brother will definitely be very satisfied with this Phoenix Saliva Perfume.”
“That’s actually generous.” Su Xing smiled.
“If you truly have an Absolute For All Eternity, this bottle of ‘Phoenix Saliva Perfume’ will be gifted to Brother.” The western man solemnly said.
“A child’s wholesome thinking, comprehends the willow, abandons food and wine, sincerity is love.”12 Su Xing said the first couplet.
“…” Flabbergasted stares.
At first glance, Su Xing’s couplet was very simple. Willows in Buddhism represented sweeping filth back to the quiet self-nature from whence it came. This couplet’s meaning was that a child comprehended the nature of Buddha from looking at a willow. From this he gave up meat and wine. The original idea was love, but Su Xing’s couplet was selected for homophones of numbers, from 1 to 12. This was somewhat of a headache.
Seeing everyone’s blank stares, Su Xing laughed.
“Fine, then. This is my last one. It’s not necessarily an absolute, and it may not be one at all. I will give you a true absolute now.”
“What, you still have absolutes?”
The man’s mouth could not close.
“A quiet studious life is empty as widowhood.”13
Su Xing slowly said. This couplet truly was absolute. Although Su Xing had seen many couplets on the web, such as some “a desert sea of tears gradually reaches high tide,” “return to the lotus path, return to freedom” and the like, it was difficult to make something flawless as “willow pond locked in smoke.” It truly was not because of those elaborate words, rather, there was no follow-up that could compare to the artistry of the two words “a quiet.”
The quiet breathing on the street was audible.
Su Xing saw that everyone’s eyeballs that were about to pop out.
“Are you a monster?” The western man screamed: “This couplet is too absolute.”
“Your Servant wholeheartedly accept it. Your Servant shall give these two couplets to the Princess.” This time, the man no longer made any twists or turns. He very frankly gave that Phoenix Saliva Prefume and the spice bags to Su Xing.
But someone interfered.
“Since this Phoenix Saliva Perfume was to be sent to the Happiness Together Courtyard, for Benefactor to give it to someone else, that is rather too disrespectful.” Two monks ran over and denounced. From their robes, they were disciples of the Happiness Together Courtyard.
Su Xing smiled. “If anyone here can answer, they can take the Phoenix Saliva Perfume.”
The two monks stared wide-eyed. Then, they looked at their surroundings. At this moment, they had already been surrounded by many senior monks and Chan Masters racking their brains. For this sort of circulated absolute, without Baidu, to have them answer in a short time honestly was not an easy thing. This Meditative MInd was not omnipotent either.
“We wonder if Benefactor would be willing to gift this Phoenix Saliva Perfume to the Happiness Together Courtyard.” The monks were still stubborn, using their reputation as a Buddhism Six Ancestor.
Wu Xinjie gazed at Shi Yuan, and they could not help but snicker.
The others being laughed at were baffled. How could they have known that not long before, Su Xing’s group had designs on the Happiness Together Courtyard’s Ancestral Master. Whatever reputation they had was fleeting.
In the end, everyone repeatedly exclaimed in admiration, only dispersing after this Absolute For All Eternity.
Xiao’er sniffed the Qilin Spice Bag, a face of satisfaction.
“What use does this spice bag have?”
Everyone was very curious.
“Don’t you think it makes for a great accessory?” Xiao’er said.
“Where is that Phoenix Saliva Perfume.” Shi Yuan swallowed hard, her eyes gleaming, keeping her mind on that Phoenix Saliva Perfume.
“Yuan’er, you cannot use this.” An Suwen softly laughed.
Shi Yuan nodded in understanding.
She knew it was for the Yin Yang Lovemaking Powder. Of course, the Thief Star dreamed that the Efficacious Star could quickly refine it.
“This is all thanks to your man. Honestly, you impress Xiao’er.” Xiao’er praised, Thinking back to the couplets just now, Su Xing’s actions honestly made her feel even more surprised. She wondered how that brain thought up of so many exquisite couplets.
Not only she, but Su Xing’s eight beauties also were in wonder. Yan Yizhen’s indifferent eyes continuously burned with a luminous light. It seemed Su Xing’s overly excessive approach just now made the Skilful Star endlessly moved.
“Read more books.” Su Xing said, which was true.
All of the girls faintly smiled.
Then, Su Xing’s group wandering about the Feast of All Souls gained a new member – Xiao’er. Towards this Elder Sister of the Star Maidens, even Wu Xinjie was very curious, actively chatting with her on the road.
The fireworks were endlessly bright in the sky, and Su Xing looked at their faces wearing slight smiles.
Suddenly his shoulder was lightly tapped. He lifted his head to look. Gongsun Huang blinked, gazing at a remote location. Following her line of sight, Su Xing immediately spotted a familiar figure.
Chan Xin seemed to be chatting with someone, but the person was too far away to see clearly. She seemed to wear a blue and white dress. Su Xing recalled Chan Xin’s identity, and thus he quickly walked over.
Right at this moment, Chan Xin and the person she chatted with bade farewell and turned away.
“Eh?” Chan Xin froze when she spotted Su Xing. As far as this man who discussed Chan in the rain with her, Chan Xin still had quite the impression.
Su Xing’s heart had a bit of consolation.
“Are you alone?” Su Xing asked her.
Chan Xin did not answer, her face calm as a dry well.
“What’s the matter, did you have any harvest?” Su Xing asked in succession. “With so many Buddhist Sects, the Central Celestial has many Chan Masters. There ought to be one that can help you?”
Chan Xin slightly shook her head, her expression very regretful.
“Poor Nun takes her leave.” Chan Xin clapped her hands together, very bluntly saying.
“Want to come back with me? Oh, I have a wife that probably is very related to you.” Su Xing called out.
How could he have anticipated that not even Chan Xin’s head would turn. Her figure swiftly disappeared into the sea of people, a very faint sentence burning in his ears.
“If there is connection we will meet again.”
“If there is connection, we will meet again, is it?”
Su Xing could not help but smile.
- 進士盡是近視, this is a pun based on homophones. Plug this and all of the following characters into google translate to see the pronunciations. ↩
- 鶴山, a real life location known as Heshan. ↩
- 鶴山和尚褐衫 ↩
- IDK where this other one came from. ↩
- 今世 ↩
- 鶴山褐衫和尚和善 ↩
- 今世進士盡是近視進食 ↩
- 河上鶴山褐衫和尚和善 ↩
- 河上鶴山褐衫和尚和善合扇 ↩
- 鳳涎香液 ↩
- 鳳求凰 ↩
- 一兒善思，悟柳，棄罷酒食，實意是愛, a very close homophone for the first twelve nubers. ↩
- 寂寞寒窗空守寡, all characters use the same radical. ↩